Random acts of kindness

I went to the dentist today and got some unpleasant news. I left there feeling pretty upset and I wanted to cry, but I didn't instead I just got in the car and drove. I started feeling more and more sorry for myself. Why is this happening to me? Why does life have to be so hard? When am I going to get a break?!

When I got to the end of the street I saw a homeless man. He was leaning on a post holding a sign that read "HOMELESS PLEASE HELP. GOD BLESS YOU." I immediately felt guilty. How could I be so ungrateful? Yes I have some problems, but I also have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and a warm bed at night. This man had none of that.

I didn't have any cash on me, but I knew I had to help him somehow. I know if that was me, I would want someone to care. I couldn't just drive past him, it felt wrong. I needed him to know that someone cared.

Lucky for me there was a SONIC Drive-in right around the corner. OH YEAH! I got this. I pull in and order him a #6 All American dog with tater tots and a Coke. Then I drive my emotional ass over to the Walgreens parking lot behind him. I walked over to him and I said, "Excuse me sir, I don't have any cash but I thought maybe you might be hungry, so I brought you this." He said "Thank you, God bless" and we went our separate ways. As I'm walking back to my car I look over and he's sitting by the bushes. I think about going over there and sitting with him, but that would be weird, so I get into my car and sit down and the moment I shut the door I start bawling my eyes out.

I felt so lonely at that moment and I thought if I felt lonely, maybe he felt lonely too. So I walked over to him and I asked him If I could join him, he smiled and said yes.

So I sat down next to him and we started talking. His name is Ted. He has lived in Florida for 20 years, he owes 84,000 in child support, so when he works they garnish his wages, he hasn't worked in years. I found out he has a girlfriend, shes homeless too, but she can't be in the sun because of her medication. Her name is Debbie. He is madly in love with her and he feels blessed to have her in his life. "As long as I have her, I'm OK" He says.

We talked about the weather, which is what people who don't know each other talk about, but this was different, this wasn't small talk it was his reality. Last night was brutal on them. He hold me they found an empty trailer to protect them from the wind, which was helpful, but the floor was freezing cold. For warmth they used cardboard boxes, it helped a little but they weren't able to sleep. I told him I might have something in my car I can give him. We talked a while more, he finished his hot dog, but he saved the tater tots for Debbie. It was time for us both to go, so I went to my car and found one of Gigi's blankets and brought it over to him. He was happy and he promised to tell Debbie I said "Hi." He had a kind smile. I noticed he was missing a few teeth. I realized I didn't feel so bad about my teeth anymore. He had given me a new perspective.  He waved happily as I drove away and it felt so good.

Ted is a sweetheart, he taught me a valuable lesson today. If you feel like you could use a random act of kindness, do one instead, because that is so much more rewarding. And if you ever feel like life is unfair or too hard, remember there are others out there much less fortunate than you. Count your blessings not your sorrows.

I feel blessed to have met Ted and if I see him again, I'll be sure to do lunch with him. Hopefully Debbie can join us next time.

Peace & Love
Shelly XO

21 & Over

I thought when I turned 21 I would be able to drink whenever I want and not have to sneak around... that's not quite the case. I get carded a lot, and yes I am young so it is to be expected but sometimes it can get pretty ridiculous. Like the other night for instance...

Last Sunday night Ilene & I went out to a restaurant on the beach, for a few drinks and a relaxing dinner. We arrived around dinner time and wanted the seats on the water so we knew we'd have to wait a while. Not a problem, I actually prefer when we have to wait, it means we get to sit at the bar!

So we walk over to the bar and everything is wet and sticky, not to sound like a snob but it was pretty disgusting.. (Luckily I had my travel size disinfectant spray with me....pssh, don't judge me) So once the place is germ free we take a seat and after what seemed like forever I place my order: 1 champagne split. (take note, I said a champagne split not hard liquor shots) He asks to see my I.D., which I already have out, so I hand it to him.

He looks at the I.D., then he looks at me, then back at the I.D., then back at me...and back at the I.D. and then back at me. You get the picture, right? So he asks me whose I.D. I'm using and I told him it was mine. Which he scoffs at, then asks me for a second form of I.D. and I pull out my credit card, which lucky for me still has my maiden name on it. *insert eye roll*

So he calls his manager over and they start questioning me on why there are two different last names and I explained to them that I got married, my name changed and I simply had not got a new credit card. To which the bartender responded with "Oh yeah? If you're married then how come you're not wearing a ring?"  So rude! "Its complicated." That's all I said. Fuck that! I am not going to explain myself to some punk bartender on a power trip.

They're being pretty loud so others can hear them and people are starting to stare. They keep questioning me and my friend and at this point I'm pretty sure they're going to call the cops. Which is fine, whatever. I'm not breaking any laws so I'm not scared or anything, but it would be pretty damn inconvenient. So I'm about to just leave and the manager says, OK, we'll accept it this time, but we have to be extra careful since its Spring Break.

Guess who finally got her champagne?! That's right, this girl! So we make a toast and our awesome night commences, but damn they made me work for it.

I wish I could say that was the only time I've been harassed like that, but unfortunately this sort of thing happens all the time.

 On my 24th birthday I went into a gas station to buy a lighter and I was interrogated for five straight minutes.
She asked me where I got the I.D., she quizzed me on the address and my DOB, asked if it was a fake, then asked me if I was sure it was mine. Then she started talking out loud, to no one in particular. "They get younger and younger looking every year."

Seriously? Its a fricken lighter! You only have to be 18 to get one! Story of my life, but I guess I shouldn't complain. One day I might miss being carded...

    #firstworldproblems #foreveryoung #babyface

XOXO

Shelly M.

Beauty Obsessed

I am beauty obsessed! It's true, I have been doing a ridiculous amount of research, I have spent countless days and nights watching girls put on makeup, flipping through makeup artistry books and magazines, drooling over the next eye shadow pallet coming out and fangirling over my favorite makeup artists. Beauty has become my obsession, or as I like to call it my passion. I take everything I learn and incorporate it into my own style.

I look at all the professional  Makeup Artists that create such beautiful art and it's so inspiring to me. They're just so talented and skillful. It has taken them years to perfect their art and I know that I have a lot to learn before I'm at their level. So when girls started coming up to me and asking me for fashion and beauty advice, it completely shocked me. 

It's both flattering and humbling. Wow people really want to know what I think and value my input. At first I felt a little nervous, it felt like a lot of pressure..."What if I gave someone bad advice?! What if I let them down? What do I know?! I'm not a professional!" -Insert panic attack here- 

To be perfectly honest, it took me a while to get used to it. After a little while though I really started to cherish it. I fell in love with making others feel beautiful. It's such a good feeling and so rewarding. 

My girlfriends are always coming to me for beauty advice; hair, makeup, nails, skincare, fashion, etc. Some of the things they ask me are things that I thought we all knew, but apparently not. (I forget others aren't as obsessed with beauty as I am)

So I started thinking if one person doesn't know maybe there are others who also don't know and could benefit from this information.

...Sooo, that brings me to my next  idea. I am adding a "Beauty" section to my blog, where I will be posting beauty related videos and tutorials. I will also be adding a "Fashion" section which will have OOTD's & OOTN's.

I am very excited to do this! I have always dreamt of being a beauty guru and helping women look and feel their best. Everyone deserves to feel beautiful and confident. Regardless of their size, color or sexual orientation. If I can help just one person feel pretty then its all worth it.

I plan on sharing all that I know look forward to learning so much more.


XOXO

Shelly M.

I'd sacrifice you for a blog post.

Since I started blogging I see every moment or event as a possible blog post and every interaction with another is an opportunity for inspiration. For instance, even if someone is stupid, I'll still engage with them, because there's a chance that I'll get to write about it later. Sometimes I even put my self in awkward situations just to see what happens.

I really like that, I think I'll put it on a shirt.

So the other day I went shopping with Jutt and of course we headed to Charlotte Russe first. We're looking around at the dresses and this old lady makes eye contact with me and says loudly "OH MY GOD!" so I asked her if everything was OK? And then she went off...on Jutt.
"No everything is not OK! Men should never wear earrings! That is for women only! I just don't think its right. I'm sorry, but sometimes I just can't hold my tongue on this kind of thing. It disgusts me."

Here's the thing...I could have stopped her in her tracks and told her to mind her own business, but I found the situation interesting and I wanted to see where it was going. So instead, I egged her on. I couldn't help myself. It was just too perfect, some 90 year old woman completely disgusted and offended by Jutt's earholes. She's freaking out, he's laughing hysterically and I'm giving her words of encouragement.

So after its all over, Jutt walks over to me and says..."What was all that about?" I can't decide if he means the sweet old lady or me helping her tear him apart. So I responded with "I'd sacrifice you for a blog post." It's true. I'll sacrifice anyone for a blog post, including myself. If I think there's even a remote chance that something worth writing about will happen, I'll stick around.

If you're my friend or even if you're not, this is your warning. Every interaction with me is a possible blog post and no one is safe.

Peace&Love

Shelly xo

Natural Beauty

For the most part I wear makeup everyday. I wear it because I'm a girly girl. It makes me feel sexy and it's something that I'm really passionate about. However, I don't feel as though I need the makeup to look beautiful. Not at all, I feel beautiful without it. So sometimes I just don't wear any.

Well a few weeks ago I went to a kid's birthday party, and I decided not to wear any makeup. After all it was at the park and I didn't think all the glam would be necessary.

No big deal, until my friend says...

"You look like you don't feel too good, and you look tired." Whoa! That was a slap to face, especially considering I felt fine, I wasn't tired and I was enjoying myself. At this point I had two options. I could either tell her I feel fine and that the reason why I look different is because I'm not wearing makeup (which is the truth, but might make her feel bad) Or I can lie and say I don't feel all that well. (which after her comment, isn't so much of a lie anymore) So thats exactly what I did, I lied. I said I didn't feel well and then I left.

Honestly, I was hurt by what my friend said, I thought that was so rude, but I also felt sympathy for her. I didn't want to make her feel bad for her ignorance. Later I found myself crying about it & I felt silly. Why did that hurt my feelings? She was obviously not trying to hurt me, she just doesn't know any better. She doesn't understand that what she said had hurt my feelings. I sat for a while and thought...Is that what people think when they see me without makeup? That I look sick and tired? Which is a terrible thought, because I am neither of those. I am healthy, happy and full of life. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a beautiful face, a beautiful smile and a beautiful soul. So why should someone's stupid remark make me feel insecure?

My beauty shines through whether I'm all glammed up or going all natural. So that brings me to the next question... Why did that shake me up so badly? I think its because up until three years ago, I didn't really wear makeup, ever. People used to see my face every day and no one ever said anything negative about it.  No one ever said I look tired, no one ever said I looked sick. However, now everyone is used to seeing me all dolled up, so when I'm not, they instantly think something is wrong.

To me it's so obvious that you should never comment on a woman's looks, unless you are doing so in a positive way. You don't comment on her weight, her looks, or her age. Those are just things you don't do and I thought that was understood by everyone, but apparently not.
So for those of you out there who are thinking about commenting on a woman's look in a negative way, think twice.

1. You come off as rude or uneducated.

2. You might hurt their feelings and make them doubt their self.
Just put yourself in their position, if someone were saying that to you would it make you feel good? If the answer is yes, then say it... if not then hold your tongue.

If you are a woman and someone has made comment like this to you, don't take it personally.  Just know that no matter what anyone says, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Just the way you are. Without makeup (gasp) without any of the glam (double gasp). Please believe that. This is coming from the mouth (or fingertips) of a diva. I am all about the glam and looking fabulous but I also love natural beauty, there's nothing sweeter than a fresh face and messy hair.

                            #nomakeupselfie #nofilter (Not a basic bitch)

Peace&Love
Shelly xo

Cherish your time

I want to share with you guys something that I learned recently...

You should always cherish your time.

I have been super busy lately. (hence, why there haven't been any blog posts) Between working full time, being a mommy and my crazy life I barely have room to breathe. My free time has been pretty limited, which might sound kind of lame but its been a really good thing. 

It's taught me to appreciate my time more and to have higher standards when it comes to how I spend it. I think more highly of myself and my time now.

It's also improved the quality of my friendships. Since I don't have a lot of time to hang out with my friends, I had to weed out the ones who aren't good for me or the ones that should have been gone years ago. I no longer waste my time on negative people, those who lack motivation or who try to hold me back. Now I only spend time with people who are positive, goal driven, and those that inspire me. I can't settle for less than that; My time is too precious to me. If I'm going to give someone three hours of my life it has to be beneficial for me as well as them. There has to be common ground and I have to leave them feeling as though we gained something from the experience. Otherwise, it was a just a waste. I'm a go-getter and a do-er, so the people I hang out with have to be too, otherwise it just feels like we have nothing in common and there's not a whole lot we can share.

Have you ever heard of the saying? "You are who your friends are." That statement couldn't be more true. We tend to look for others that reflect us or want the same things out of life as us.
So take a close look at your friends, are they people you look up to? Do you think your friends are going places? If you're friends are lazy and unmotivated chances are you are too.

Don't think of it as being snobby, think of it as having respect for yourself and your time.